Private Earthquakes, Sunburn, etc...

And what a trip I've been on in the last few weeks/months/years these last collection of hours seems to be the strangest to date. The universe has been speaking up pretty loudly as of late- screaming, as it were. Existential revelations, breakdowns, lots of tears, lots of gut-wrenching laughter, sleep like I'm dead, don't sleep at all, up, down, sideways....worth it as long as the music's good, right?

Here's a few (strange) moments from me:

Quinn, the miracle kitten (or Master Quinn, as I call him) has turned from a one-pound-wonder into a whopping 13 pound kitten-of-doom. Don't let his size fool you, he's still kitten through and through chasing that tail all and every day, racing around chasing things that aren't there. The best part is he really IS my cat- the more energy I have, the more he feeds off of it- the bad side being, when the energy won't ground and I'm a live wire at 4 in the morning guess who's launching off the piano and using the bed as a trampoline? You got it. Sorry neighbors, he looked so innocent when I brought him home...

So J and I are finally wrapping up the last ends to finalize the divorce. Funny- now that we're not married anymore we get along just fine. (obviously much better as friends) While we wait at the mail store to get our paperwork notarized, I have a private earthquake so intense that I actually fall down. Awesome. Just standing there one second, then on my butt. Beautiful. Classy. I'm the epitome of all that is graceful and elegant. Not that I'm surprised, as silly as we were being about it, (pretty silly- but we never had a problem making each other laugh) divorce is still a pretty big f-n deal. No wonder the earth was shaking a bit.
There was a bit of a wait to get a notary, one of the guys behind the counter says "do you want a beer or a soda while you are waiting?" So playing along, I reply in total deadpan: "You know man, a beer would be great." He goes in the back and wouldn't you believe it- sure as shit he actually walks out and hands me an open bottle of beer.

Best. Mail store. Ever.

J and I shared it and actually polished it off before we even had our turn at the counter. I think I'm going to go back there tomorrow.


Sunday the universe took me on a total trip. I was heading back from recording when this image of Pier 7 completely filled my head. "Okay," I think, "I'm game." So I get off BART at the Embarcadero and walk over to Pier 7. I head down the wooden pier, which for those of you not familiar with SF was built to be covered in fog and walked down wearing a trench coat. This, however, was the middle of a sunny day. When I reached the very end, I reached out my hand and touched the railing to lean on it and look at the water- the instant my hand touched the brass, The Logical Song by Supertramp came on my iPod. I started to chuckle- the lyrics are pretty much my mantra as of the last few months:

" When I was young
It seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees
Well they'd be singing so happily
Oh joyfully, oh playfully watching me
But then they sent me away
To teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh responsible, practical
And they showed me a world
Where I could be so dependable
Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical"


I stared out at the water - "I'm bigger than you!" it said. "Yes, yes, I remember" I told it.
The nice part about the water is that it reminds you that you are small, and your problems are small- and suddenly everything seems so manageable.

I sat down to write in my journal, and a ladybug landed on my hand.

And for the first time in ages, I was able to listen... really listen. Like the universe was talking to me in full sentences, and I didn't have to guess what it was saying.

We went for a walk- the universe and me. It was good. I got a sunburn.


Recording is showing progress. Bud has one song left and the drums are DONE- SUCKKA!! Progress makes me giddy. Also, hired a new backup singer who I have adopted, so you will be seeing more of her soon.

J-girl and I went to the ballet a few days after Cori-cat died. She had to yell at me to get me out of the house (God bless her) The Monte Carlo Ballet was ASTOUNDING. I mean BAD ASS. I mean LIFE ALTERING. I... I just...I mean....really damn good.

And what did I learn? That if I just listen things aren't so scary. That music will talk to you if you let it. That friends will tough love you at the right time. That earthquakes happen for a reason. That baby steps do eventually get you somewhere. That going slowly and taking a walk with the universe is the way it should be.

--k

comments? questions?
blog[at]katdowns[dot]com