Day 4: Adoption Love

Two of my closest friends are in the process of becoming fost-adopt parents. I couldn't be more thrilled for them. Not only are they both amazing people, but they are good natured, loving, and extremely self-aware - which to me means great parents!

And being an adoptee myself - seeing two strong, grounded people choosing to go the route of adoption makes me BEAM!

My brother and I were both adopted as infants - and were raised knowing such. Adoption was something to be proud of! We were taught how extra-special we were - and how much our birth parents loved us to give us such a wonderful gift. Each of us have a "Special Day" which is the day we were adopted. It's like a second birthday. Mine is next week!

Through pure chance, there were quite a few kids in my class at school and in my neighborhood that were also adopted, so it never seemed strange or odd. I can think of 6 other kids right now that I grew up with that were also adopted. Actually, it wasn't until I was in college that I met a classmate who had never met an adopted person - my initial reaction was "have you been living under a rock?"

It actually irritates me a little when, after finding out I'm adopted, some people refer to my mom and dad as my "adopted parents". They're my parents. My Mom is my Mom. Period. We argue and disagree and she disapproves of almost everything I do, and then we kiss and hug. Sound like a Mom? That's because she is. Same with my Dad. And my brother. And the rest of my whole gigantic Scottish-German-Wisconsin family.

It takes a special love to bring into your life and raise a child that isn't yours- and it creates an amazing bond. Not only between the parent and child, but other parents and other children who have also been adopted. There are whole communities, chat rooms, support groups, all dedicated to the celebration of adoption! Yay!!

In 1999 my birth family found me- and I've been slowly getting to know them via email and once by phone. It is definitely fascinating seeing the similarities even though I never knew them - especially in appearance, since I've never really looked like anyone before. (My youngest half-sister looks like a mirror image of me when I was her age. You wouldn't be able to tell our high school photos apart)

But regardless- my family is my family. Blood doesn't matter as much as love.

This is the poem my Mom had while i was growing up - pretty much sums up the whole thing.

Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart - but in it

--- Fleur Conkling Heylinger

So THANK YOU L&E for becoming part of the extended family of adoption love! You are very very welcome here! I'm so excited for you!