Finally!

Today- December 13^th 2004 at 4:35pm I mailed in my CD and graphics to the duplicating company. It is done. Done- World? Do you hear me? It’s DONE!! It has taken 13 months, a part time job, several hundred gallons of gas, numerous tickets for Muni and Bart- thousands of tears and heartaches and frustrations- headaches and blisters and internal screaming fits to get this thing all together. And after I had done my final listen today- after I had proofread the order forms, double and triple checked the check lists, I set it all in a stack to take it over to Fed Ex, and sitting there- it looked so small. Just a stack of paper really- and some disks. Weighed less than a pound.

And I couldn’t help but think- how is it possible that something so small- something not even alive-has been my focus, my drive, my passion for over a year. A year of my life sitting in a tiny little pile at the foot of the bed waiting to go to Fed Ex. Part of me wanted to laugh, part of me wanted to cry. A very large part of me wanted to just sit there and look at it for at least two days and contemplate life, the universe and everything as I am prone to do- but Fed Ex has cut off times, and there were deadlines at stake.

I almost expected fanfare as I left the FedEx store- of course there wasn’t any. Just the normal sounds of the city. It actually made me look at people differently. As I looked at the man on the corner I couldn’t help but think- is this a good day, or a bad day for you? Was today a day that changed your life? Would you even tell me if I asked? And as I walked back to the car I realized how anti-climatic it had been. How I was so overcome with emotion there were tears in my eyes, yet the woman behind the counter had only said “Thank you- here’s your receipt.”